These days, if I see an opportunity to do something, I do it. There’s no hee-hawing, no agonizing over the pros and cons, or wondering whether it would be better to just stay in and marathon some mindless entertainment. This is a major departure from the person I was in my twenties – yes, that person took a handful of solo trips, and once in a blue moon would go out “on the town” because the prospect of spending another night in front of Dragon Age became suddenly unbearable.

But when it came to major life decisions? Building a future and investing time in the things that really mattered? Nah. I had plenty of time.

Not so much any more.

Now, everything I do is fueled by the thought that if I don’t do these things now, they may never happen at all. I’ve spent far too many years using job insecurity and the prospect of moving out of state as excused to never really commit to anything serious. But if I keep waiting for “the right time”, I’ll be waiting forever. It is with this fire lit under my ass that brings me to my most recent accomplishment: a box.

My goal was to create a container for pencils, pens, and other art-making accouterments that you could carry around in your purse or backpack. I wanted it to be made of eco-friendly materials, and I wanted to find a manufacturer here in the United States that could produce it for me at a rate that was viable for re-selling.

I think I accomplished all of those things with one caveat – I seem to have forgotten what pencils are and what they look like, because the dimensions I requested are way off. I could fit a whole Nintendo Switch in this thing. But, that’s the reason we make prototypes.

I find myself wondering if each new piece of merchandise I dream up will be the one that will make my career as a working artist. I keep trying – searching for that magic bullet that I can slap a skull onto that will become a viral sensation and allow me to quit my day job. It really is a good thing that I actually enjoy the process of drawing and creating – else this might start to become frustrating.

My day job is, well. A job. And after more than six months of applications and interviews, it’s the first job I’ve been able to snag with both a consistent schedule and half-decent pay. I’ve taught myself the skills necessary to work in nearly every office setting – (Microsoft Office, Adobe, Quickbooks, SEO Optimization, just to name a few…) but so has everyone else, it seems. And despite the chaotic, seat-of-their-pants management style of my current employers, I am thankful for the paycheck. But damned if I don’t want out.

If I had dedicated myself to social media and making cute art with wide appeal from the very day I stepped off of the stage with my diploma? I’d likely be making my living off of my art by now. But I couldn’t have known what steps were necessary to make that dream a reality. None of us did. Those of us who have found that kind of success have often stumbled into it.

But here we are now. And I cannot fathom spending another moment regretting the things I didn’t do when I was younger. I’ve spent way too long doing that already. So let’s get to work.